Wednesday, May 6, 2015

真的吗: Top five cinema essentials in China

All cinemas around the globe hold one thing true....over-priced food and beverages. They have led the common man to ban together in the smuggling of contraband under the watchful eyes of security cameras. When I should be sporting a lady-like clutch purse so that my outfit can be on point, I'm usually lugging a jockey bag like a bootlegger. None the less, adapting is what I do, especially for the sake of food.

In addition to upgrading my bag, I have refined my list of necessities. Hello! While you guys are enjoying mind blasting trailers, I'm over here trying to survive through advertisements for orthopaedic doctors and the latest household appliances. (What age group are they expecting anyway?). I'm usually finished with half my popcorn by then. If it's an action movie and most times it is, delivery speed of food to mouth is directly proportional to the acceleration of people falling out of sky-scrapers. Now that we have established the situation, let's get to the things that keep my sanity.

1. Random food

I really should eat dinner BEFORE I go the movies but it never occurs to me I'm going to the cinema until I'm there. So I usually scout around quickly to stock up on fries, chicken wings, a couple steamed buns and spicy tofu. Kinda like Bonita '2words' Brown in 'Things Blacks folks say at Weddings'

2. Water

I have to admit that cinema popcorn is the best. And until I master that perfect caramel coating there is no point of sneaking mine in. But just like the super salty pretzels on the streets of NY, they get me really thirsty. And it's much easier to carry that 1 L bottle than pay twice the price for it.

3. Wet wipes

Like I have to explain.

4. Perfume

Every good undercover agent has a back-up plan. Mine is spraying and eating cuz steamed bun and spicy tofu are polluting the atmosphere and I need to cover my tracks.

5. Tissues

In romance movies or drama, of course I'll drop a couple water markers. But Fast 7 caught me off-guard. I was audibly sobbing. And what's worst, most of the movie goers didn't seem to know the Paul Walker story and were walking out *SPOILERS* during the beach scene. I lost it and screamed my head off at their lack of sensitivity. Nope. I put on my thug shades and was very grateful my row cleared out just before the big waves broke against my eyelashes. All that to say, never assume you won't need tissues during an action movie. Always be prepared. #GirlGuideHonour

What are your top five cinema essentials? Don't tell me you go to the cinema empty-handed 
*drops jaw* 
I'm alone in this? 
Don't leave me hanging. Share below :)